- "You just know these n values, and now you know everything!"
- "It's good, but it's not Sundae Friday good."
- "I guess I'll call this a 'fact'."
- "There are lots of things that are obvious that are not true."
- "There are terrifying lows and dizzying highs in linear algebra."
- "We've basically done nothing. We'll do more nothing later."
- "The tricky part is struggling to figure out why what I say is not stupid."
- "This statement is practically content-free."
- "Mathematicians don't
*have*friends." / "They do! They have mathematician friends!" - "Mathematicians are handy 'cause we understand math."
- "Why does the power series of cosθ turn out to be 2π periodic? That's BAFFLING!"
- "I'm gonna try to go the rest of the class without saying or writing anything that's wrong."
- "You run into trouble here if you think too much."
- "Basically the problem is that infinity is weird."
- "See if you can use this proof to show the square root of three is irrational. Then try the square root of
*four*. If it works, you did something wrong." - "What's similar about them is that they're similar."
- "Physists use all these different colors... we don't go for that cutesy crap. We have one word and we stick with it." --on the definition of "normal"
- "In fact... if I wanted, I could write everything on the board as "X" and it would still make sense to me."
- "If you get hung up on
*actual*definitions you'll be in trouble." - "The best part about math is that, if you have the right answer and someone disagrees with you, it really
*is*because they're stupid." --on why math is better than politics - "You could plug ANYTHING in here, it doesn't matter." / "So I could plug 'your mom' in there?" / "... ...no... that doesn't work for a number of reasons. The big problem is that your mom is not part of our vector space. ... ... I should have just stayed away from this one."
- If x is
~~a man~~ice cream, then x is~~a person~~a delicious dairy treat. - "They sound worse than they are... I think it's because they have this German name." --on eigenvectors
- "Then all you have to do is find the roots of a polynomial, which is, in general, impossible."
- "They are locked in what you might call a DEATH SPIRAL."
- "This is
*jail*for chalk. It is*not*a reward." - Jim: "It's child's play!"

Student: "Then how come they don't teach it in preschool?"

Jim: "It's not FUN child's play. *thinks for a moment* Actually it's kinda fun, if you're into that stuff." - "You... have a shaky grasp on theology.
- "Turns out there are a lot of real numbers."
- "I was hoping we'd get through one day without the misogynistic comments..."
- "I did this in advance, so you shouldn't be intimidated.
- "A lot of math is seeing patterns and then guessing that they might always be true." / "And then you're done?" / "No, that's physics."
- "[By wearing pants] you're kind of admitting that it's cold outside. You're also kind of admitting that you have a real job." --a reason for wearing shorts on December 1
- "You know the chalk can't hear me, right?"
- "Our cup runneth over here." / "Say that again." / "I'm not gonna."
- "Can't win, don't try."
- "If someone asks you to orthogonally diagonalize a matrix that's not symmetric, you should spit in their face."